My Strengths, My Weaknesses

A few years ago I took a personality and spiritual gifts test/seminar.  It was very insightful and did help me to understand myself better.  I found out what I already knew and then some.  I know that I am a feeler, emotional, think with my heart, and love to encourage.  My spiritual gifts were Exhortation and Teaching.  I did not find much conflict with that idea.  I still to this day believe that to be true.  While I know my gifts and strengths, some very concerning attributes accompany them as well.  I am indecisive, pretty much live in the moment and can't make plans, motivated by others and find it hard to stick with something, ...spaz! I find that dealing with my inconsistencies is quite inconsistent.  I do not know how to completely free myself of my faults, but I do see a way to live with them.  In surrendering myself to God, I find freedom.  I do not have to live up to the expectations of others.  I don't even have to live up to my expectations.  I simply have to let go.  This is extremely difficult for someone like me.  I am by no means an over-achiever, but I do find myself trying to adhere to some rules or guidelines.  God did not give us rules and regulations, instead-Jesus sacrificed His life so that we could continue to live in our flesh.  I am not saying that we should make excuses for our bad habits, but they are part of this world.  We won't fully escape them.  There is a way to overcome them, overcome their hold.  The only way to free ourselves completely is to abide in Christ.  Abiding in His thoughts, His Spirit, His words, His love.  We must be consumed by Him.  His ways must become ours.  This is such a fine line, but we are not saved by works.  Grace alone, through Christ, is our redeemption.  If we are trying to do it on our own, we just won't succeed.  I want to be free from the chains of bondage to this world, I want to be done with my sinful ways, I want to lead others to,instead of distract them from,the cross. I want to love and help and mend and do.. but I must want above all things to be in Christ.. or all those wants and desires are fruitless.  So God, today, please help me surrender.  It's the hardest thing, to lay down, to accept that it's all been done, to not try to do it on my own.. but it's the only way.  Please show me the way, please fix my heart on you, and please be my strength.. No weapons formed against me shall remain! Thank you God.